Can we talk frankly for a moment? Yes? Great...
At some point in life we all have had to utilize a public bathroom. In some instances the experience can be
pretty amazing. I've been in some restaurant bathroom that frankly, where more luxurious than my entire house.
Others, well...let's just say they belong in a horror movie. Today however, I do not want to talk about the
bathroom itself, I want to talk about the people who use them. Specifically, the various
personas of people. The only question that remains is which are YOU?
Restroom Persona's:
The Farter:
Yup, just like it sounds, if you will pardon the pun. This is the person who wanders in and strikes up
a conversation with you. Seems pleasant enough, right up until they start to let napalm out of their butt and keep
right on talking to you like nothing is coming out of their butt.
The Talker:
This is probably a bit more troublesome for people with shy bladders but still an annoyance at times. You're sitting there with
your thing out and someone starts talking to you. Dude, I got my thing in my hand and so do you. Can this wait
until we are outside?
The Spitter:
What is it with guys that insist on spitting into the urinal? Is it just another form of target practice like when
we tried to hit the little soap disc when we were smaller?
The Water Hose:
The Explosives Expert:
I'm not sure whether to run for cover or run for help. It does seem a great deal of people have got some SERIOUS
diarrhea issues. And boy, does it sound painful.
The Plague:
These are the people who just piss and run, literally. Dude, if your not going to wash your hands...PLEASE...don't
shake mine.
- Scott